By Caro July 7, 2023
How many times have you come to a conclusion about a situation, or worse, about a person, without even asking a few questions to see if your assumptions were valid? We have all made this mistake. It’s time to put a stop to that.
Imagine that you are invited to a potluck meal, and at the dessert table, there are three offers. You have industrial cookies sold at low prices, a handmade apple pie, and a sumptuous cake finely prepared by a pastry shop. Seeing the cookies, you might think: “Ah, this person certainly does not like desserts to bring that”, or even “This person must be poor or stingy”. Or maybe you will think positively: “Finally someone who will not judge me if I succumb to these little cookies!” Next comes the hand-made pie. You might think, “This person is trying to brag about being a good cook” or “I bet this is a vegan product”. Or if you have a positive attitude, maybe you’ll think, “Oh, someone who loves to cook just like me!” And finally, in front of the sophisticated cake, perhaps you will think: “This person is rich and does not hide it” or even “He is certainly a picky person”. Or on the contrary, you may think that this person is generous and wanted to offer nothing less than excellence.
All these thoughts are only presumptions. Until we ask questions to the person who brought the dessert, we cannot trust our thoughts. Too often we conclude without really knowing the person we are dating. If she is divorced, we might believe that she will also leave us at the slightest glitch, which puts enormous pressure on our shoulders to always prove our worth. Or if the person has never been married, we will think that they are likely to let us down on the wedding day. Or our partner frowns, and we assume she’s angry, or she doesn’t smile at our gift, and we assume she’s disappointed with the present. What happens in our thoughts is not always reality. We must take the time to discuss with our partner in each situation. It’s so easy to ask questions. “And I tell you: Ask and you will receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you” (Luke 11:9 CEB).
And we also do this with God! Faced with a need, we assume that God will not want to meet it, so we do not ask Him. Or we even forget that He is interested in accompanying us, and we go about our lives as we see fit. Even though God knows our needs, He wants to hear us tell Him about them. “Don’t be anxious about anything; rather, bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks” (Philippians 4:6 CEB). As the verse says, it is when we discuss our needs with God that we can be freed from worry. God can sometimes meet our needs in an extraordinary way or only teach us how to meet them ourselves. “Every scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for showing mistakes, for correcting, and for training character” (2 Timothy 3:16 CEB).
Sometimes God will use other people to guide us. Asking questions to learn, and asking for advice, is a very wise habit. Following our heart, or our thoughts, is not a good idea. “Doom to those who consider themselves wise, who think of themselves as clever” (Isaiah 5:21 CEB). We must learn to retain our thoughts and stop assuming without having the right information. And to get the wisdom to come to sound conclusions, we have to open our mouths and ask. Let’s get into the habit of asking questions today.
(This article is the summary of the “Demandez” conference presented in Gatineau on Saturday, June 17, 2023.)